THEMATIC REPORT 2017 SEXUAL TORTURE Some survivors of sexual torture may even hide their trauma for fear of being rejected by their families and partners. “They are afraid of marriage dissolution and of losing their family. This is the main reason why many of them stayed silent,” staff from CTV Bosnia & Herzegovina explain. When sexual torture is systematically applied as a strategy of war, it is often designed to destroy whole families and hence the core social fabric of the targeted society. Staff from CTV Bosnia and Herzegovina report that during the conflict in former Yugoslavia “very frequently, women were raped in front of their family members, like children, husbands, or mothers. In other cases, relatives of the victims were forced to have intercourse with them, fathers with their daughters, brothers with their sisters. This served to humiliate and disturb the whole family as much as possible.” It is not surprising that many survivors develop a fear of the opposite sex and become unable to engage in relationships. TCSVT South Africa, for instance, recalls a case of a female patient who was “adamant that she would never be able to trust a man again, never allow a man in her life again.” When children or adolescents become victims of sexual torture, they often isolate themselves from their families and refuse to participate in family and broader social life. “All of our young patients live with their extended families, and all have continuous issues with the rest of the family members. They tend to be very isolated. They all abandoned their studies, stopped going to school. One is an alcoholic, another two are heavy smokers. A father of one told me how careless and disrespectful his son had become. Another one rigidly refuses to leave the house and developed a severe fear of interacting with others.” TRC Palestine In other cases, parents reject and may even disown their abused children. In the experience of staff at FAVL Armenia, girls who have been raped often end up living on the streets and are at risk of being trafficked into prostitution. “For some, the social stigma is that high that it makes relatives, parents turn their backs on their children.” just no relationship between them anymore. I asked him not to make a hasty decision, to give it some time and some thought. In the next session he said: ‘You know, I understood that I cannot leave her, I realised how much I love her, even though there is this major gap between us, I just love this woman.’” The couple both received intense individual psychosocial counselling and were also invited for some final joint sessions. Together they learned relaxation techniques and other exercises that can help couples strengthen their bond. During these sessions, Kamari said to his therapist, “You know, there is such a major difference in our relationship now. We are able to speak to each other again, she is able to laugh at the jokes I try to make.” Impact on sexuality Sexual torture often affects both a victim’s external social relations, in addition to their sexual identity. Specifically, the attack on their sexuality can make intimate partner relationships very difficult or, in some cases, impossible. Centre staff report that many of their clients do not speak about their experience of sexual abuse with their partners. According to staff at EATIP Argentina, “The changes that sexual torture cause in one’s sexuality also affect social relations. Often, for example, victims live with their partners who take care of them. Each stimulus that they might experience in their intimate partner relationship, which can somehow be connected or associated with the traumatic event, re-actualises the symptomatology of the trauma. This often fundamentally undermines any possibility of living a page 21